I had a dream that I was watching the first ep of S3 of Sherlock. John was in the woods, investigating something by himself, but there were other people there too. One of them was Sherlock, who was disguised as a blonde teenage girl (and had been since faking his death). The show sometimes had Benedict with bleached hair and sometimes had an actress. Sherlock revealed himself to John by berating him about not being able to wash his own hands properly. John figured out who this ‘girl’ was and… I waited to hear what his first words to Sherlock would be, knowing that some fans had pledged to get a tattoo of the first thing John said to Sherlock… but it was just something like, ‘dammit, Sherlock,’ and that was all the discussion they ever had about it and John completely accepted the situation.
Sherlock didn’t give up his disguise. There was a scene in a high school girls’ locker room where Sherlock bleached his hair again (the bleach occasionally wore off completely, leaving him with dark hair again). There was a line about how dry and unmanageable his hair was from the bleach, and it was totally a reference to the expensive hair products that Sherlock seems to use in every single fanfic.
Then Sherlock and John were naked in a tent in the woods. Apparently, Benedict had agreed to do full-frontal nudity for S3. Sherlock was rummaging through a bag of sex toys, which John called a ‘spooge bag.’ But the scene had a ‘they’re not having sex. This is all for a case’ feeling.
Then they were back to investigating in the woods. There was some kind of hidden, ruined ancient village they had to find. They needed to go back in time, each using a different time travel portal to take them to a different place and time. But they accidentally switched them.